Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Tuesday Tails ~ The Extraordinary Voyages of Cap'n Basil Blackheart & His Motley Crew ~ Part II

Welcome to 


Featuring our latest bonkers time travelling pirate adventure

The Extraordinary Voyages of  Cap'n Basil Blackheart and his Motley Crew 


The Crimson Revenge

Arrrrggg and greetings wunderpurr pals

Welcome to the 2nd episode of our latest adventure, immerse yourselves in the action and let it unfold right before your very eyes and just in case mew missed anything, here's the link fur last weeks epic episode:


A quick recap from last week

The pitching and rolling became increasingly violent as we descended the through the cyclic centrifuge in tighter and tighter circles as the huge funnel of water loomed up above us like a giant coiling snake hell bent on smashing us and The Crimson Revenge to smithereens. 

The only thing going through my mind was that this was some really, really, monumentally freaky natural phenomenom and the chances that we were going to survive it, well let me just say I wasn't holding my breath!

I was abruptly brought back from my momentary mind-scape by my crews' terrified high-pitched screams as we reached what could only be described as the mouth of hell, and then there was nothing but blackness.

"And Cut!"


So hold ye fast matey's, as we're in fur a wild ride today



Part II ~  Land Ho!

"And Action!"

The total blackness engulfed us fur what seemed a handful of seconds as we were sucked down, down and further down through the whirling vortex of hell, then there was a huge bang and the ship seemed to launch skywards with a tremendous amount of thrust.  I could hear my crew screaming like banshees as The Crimson Revenge belly-flopped into the stormy waters with a huge splash.  The hull creaked and groaned in a most alarming way and I prayed that on top of effurything we hadn't sprung a leak.

It was still dark and effury few moments there was a flash of lightning which illuminated the skies, and in those brief moments I saw the carnage before me.


The waves continued to crash across the deck as I yelled out. “Is effurypurrdy ok?”

Another huge waved engulfed us and the ship rocked dangerously to and fro.


The deck was awash with seaweed and all manner of detritus, one of the masts was hanging on by a thread, or purrhaps a toothpick is a better explanation, as it lay across the battered deck. 

I prayed that Smoochie was ok, he’d been the most vulnerable in the crow’s nest.


The sails were just like streamers as a gust of wind whipped them into a spiralling tangle and the rigging was hanging on by a thread. 

It was in that moment I saw we were headed straight towards to a rocky outcrop, immediately I automatically went into evasive manoeuvres mode as I grasped the ships wheel and began to spin it hard to port as fast as my paws would go.

“Hold ye tight!” I yelled above the noise of the crashing ocean.


The jagged, slimy rocks loomed dangerously close as the ship turned sharply, running parallel with the almost disaster zone and then slowly began to leave them behind us.

I felt a paw on my shoulder and nearly jumped out of my fur as Snowie spoke.

“Cap’n, we've sustained a hell of a lot of damaged,” she said as the ship creaked and groaned ominously as we crashed over the top of an incoming wave.


I saw Smoochie hanging upside down by one of his safety straps twenty feet above the deck, swinging around like a furry yo-yo.

“Oh fur all that is merciful!” I almost cried with relief seeing him dangling there. Not an ideal situation but he at least he was ok.

He waved at me, and gave me a big toothy grin which spread from ear to ear and shouted. “That was the wildest ride effur, can we do it again?”

“Oh hell no!” I yelled in reply.


It was then I spotted Parsley, he was tangled in a pile of net and was trapped in a gap between the fallen mast and the deck. My heart sank as I feared the wurst and then his paw wiggled free of  the snarled mess and he gestured to me. 

I turned to Snowie, “Well that was rude!”

She giggled and waved at Parsley, who gestured again, but more vehemently.

“Can mew go get him out of there?” I asked.

“I think we should leave him there a little longer after that display of rudeness!” she laughed.

I shook my head in dismay as we lurched over another huge wave.


I scanned the deck fur Amber, remembering the last time I saw her she was sulking behind the main mast having a bath.  Then I spotted her, she had lashed herself to the grate hatch leading to hold, she was covered in seaweed, sand, shells, a couple of slimy squid, three tuna, a crab and all manner of crud.  In fact I only realised it was her because I could see random patches of orange and white fur peeking through her creature from the deep disguise.

I muttered to myself, “She’s going to be one supurr, mega hacked off kitty!”

The sea began to calm a little as we headed away from the rocks and I was getting increasing concerned about Posie and Humphrey.


“HELP! HELP!” came Posie’s cries.

I scanned the entire deck and saw nothing apart from devastation.

“HELP ME…. I'M SLIPPING OVERBOARD!” Posie yelled in terror as another wave crashed over the deck.

“Smooch, can mew see Posie from up there?” I bellowed frantically turning to Snowie. “Snowie take the wheel and keep her steady.”

I untied the rope I’d lashed myself to the balustrade with and raced down the steps. “Posie, where are mew?”

Another wave lashed the deck and I was swept off my feet and landed with a crash in a pile of slimy seaweed.


“She’s dangling on a rope starboard side level with the forward mast!” Smoochie shrieked as he swayed back and forth like a white furry pendulum. “Her rope is loosening, quick Basil quick!”

I scrambled to my feet and leapt over the myriad of flotsam and jetsam littering the deck and lunged at the rope just as it came free from the mast.  Grasping it tightly, I let out a huge sigh of relief.   The rope felt greasy and began to slip between my paws. The rope jerked several times as I battled to hold on.  I could hear Posie whimpering pitifully as the rope slipped again.

“Basil don’t let go, purrlease, don’t let go!” she whimpered in fear. “Don’t let me fall, I don’t want to die like this!”

Resolve hit me like a sledgehammer crashing on an anvil, this was my only chance, there were only a few inches of rope left.  I felt the cold sweat of dread bead all over my skin instantaneously; my fur was prickling with acute anxiety as the rope slipped another couple of inches.  I had only one option left and it was going to be furry risky, I flicked out my claws and pierced the rope, praying that they didn't shred the remaining few inches to smithereens.   By the mercy of the gods above, purrhaps Neptune himself, the rope held fast and stopped slipping.

“Posie I've got mew!” I called with extreme relief. “I’ll start to pull mew up, hold tight.”


It took a few minutes to haul Posie on deck with the waves crashing, the ship rolling and the slippery seaweed but finally her cute face popped up above the wooden side rail and she fell into a big, wet heap at my feet. I sank down next to her and took a deep, deep breath.

“That was close,” I said quietly. “Much to close fur comfort, are mew ok?”

She nodded and I could see how upset she was, as tears ran down her furry chops beading on her whiskers. 

“I'm ok,” she gasped wiping her face. “Thank mew!”

I patted her gently on the shoulder. “Mew know I would do everything and anything to save any of mew, no matter the cost to me.”

“I know,” she said with a smile. “That’s what makes mew, mew.”

“I have to find Humphrey,” I said urgently as the lightning flashed again. "But seriously I think mew need to work on your knotting skillz!"


I ran down to the hold calling Humphrey's name, my heart was beating like a jack hammer in my chest as I scrambled over strewn boxes, beams, and the utter carnage below decks.  It was a mess of mammoth proportions.  I pulled a wooden beam out of the way which was blocking the rear hold door, and wrenched it open expecting to find the wurst.  I took a deep breath and stepped into the gloom.

But I was just blown away, and when I say blown away, I mean seriously blown away by what greeted my eyes. They [whom effur 'they' are] say, a picture says a thousand wurds, well I'll just let this one speak fur itself!

"Hey dude!" Humphrey said calmly chuffing on a big, fat Cuban cigar [I didn't know he smoked either] while he swayed to and fro in his hammock, surrounded by chaos and dripping water.

"Humphrey, you're ok!" I exclaimed excitedly.

He gave me a furry perplexing look. "Well yeah, obviously" he answered nonchalantly. "Apart from the hangover from hell and my mouth tastes like the bottom of the parrots cage, not that I've effur licked the bottom of the parrots cage, I hasten to add!"

"What?" I asked rather startled by his answer. "Mew didn't feel anything, like the ship rolling and lurching as we were sucked into a giant, monster whirlpool and were ejected like a rocket out of the other side?"

He stared wide-eyed, total disbelief etched on his face. "Mew're just messing with me right?"

I shook my head and told him what had happened.

"Wow!" he breathed when I'd finished. "Like seriously wow dude, I just thought I was sooooo monumentally off my chops that it was me that was spinning round and round, not furgetting the rolling and lurching, that's why I got well roped in my hammock 'cause I thought I was the only one experiencing it!"

"We literally went through the mouth of hell, nearly drowned, the ship nearly destroyed, and mew just thought mew where off your chops!" I shook my head in complete disbelief. "Humphrey mew seriously need to lay off the nip, the nip grog, the nip rum, the nip effurything, dude listen to what I'm saying!"

He chuffed on the cigar again. "Dude, I must say it was a rare trip I was on, and when I say rare I mean supurr freaky... it felt so real!"

"Humphrey, just lay off the nip ok!"

At that moment I heard Smoochie call out.

"Land ho!"

I turned to Pilchard the Parrot. "Keep him here, and get rid of that cigar!"

I emerged on deck a short time later after battling my way through the jumble and disorder below decks to be welcomed by sunrise and calmer seas.

"Land ho!" Smooch yelled again.

I looked up to where he was swinging [still] and looked in the direction he was pointing, in the opposite direction to the sunrise.

In the distance I could see a smaller island, with a larger one behind.

"Now that looks promising," I muttered as I clambered over the broken mast and began to cut Parsley free from the tangled netting that had trapped him. "Snowie head towards the bigger island, let's hope the current takes us in, then we can anchor, assess the damage and get supplies."

Parsley was free in a few minutes after much careful cutting and then I went to rescue Amber and  finally Smoochie.  Smoochie insisted he was last, as he was having so much fun [mew know sometimes, I really wunder about him MOL].

The Crimson Revenge limped, fur want of a better wurd, towards the shore and we headed towards a small, secluded cove and dropped the anchor. [Luckily we still had one].

After what had seemed like an unreal ordeal, I finally took a deep breath and exhaled slowly letting the angst wash off me.  

Then the reality dawned on me;

Where the flip were we, and how the heck were we going to get home?

This was only the beginning of our troubles and then, just when I thought it couldn't get any wurse, we were all roused out of our shock by the sudden and violent shaking of the trees on the nearby beach as a horrifically loud trumpeting blare reverberated around the cove.

It sent shivers down me timbers and rattled me draws.

Smooch was trembling as he asked. "Basil what on earth was that?"

I stared at the beach watching the trees intently, and I swear I saw a column of black smoke swirl just out of the tree line before it disappeared into the dense jungle.

I swallowed hard, and tried to keep my voice steady. "Smooch I think it was monkeys!" I lied.

"And Cut!"


Guy's, we're sorry to leave mew in all in acute, harrowing suspense, but mew know that's how we roll! MOL

Also, I bet mew've got endless questions on top of last week still unanswered ones, such as:

Where the flip are mew?

How bad is the damage to The Crimson Revenge?

Do mew think mew'll be able to fix it?

Does Humphrey really have a 'nip problem'?

What is this mysterious island mew've found?

Why did mew tell Smooch it was monkey's on the beach?

Did mew really see a smoke monster?

Do mew really think it's an actual monster?

OMC are mew 'LOST'?

If mew have any questions feel free as to ask!

*    *    *
So stop by next Tuesday fur the continuing tension and to see if we survive this new bizarre  phenomenom!  
Join us tomorrow for our regular Wordless on Wednesday post as mew know how much we love, love, love your company and all your wunderpurr comments.

Hearty purrs and salty sea-spray head rubs

Cap'n Basil & the Crew of The Crimson Revenge XOX


  1. Wow, that was exciting! I only have one question. Where does Humphrey get his nip. I want some!

    1. Flynn, he has a supurr potent home grown stash! MOL

  2. a standin ovashunz heer in de land oh trout !!! WE LOVES THIZ !!! parsley...we cracked up dood az we can onlee imagine de "gesture"....save it tho buddy for de bass terd burd in de hull......N we got betz goin....ewe iz on MONSTURR ISLAND......ya...gotta.....ya GOTTA......look for Godzilla { if thatz in fax wear ya iz !!! } ♥♥♥

    1. Arrrrrrrrrr me hearty Tabbies! Don't wurry about the BASS TERD BURD in the hull aka Pilhard the Parrot - he's robotic, as we know how much mew dislike them.... MOL MOL Wow mew could be right about it being Monster Island, we'll be keeping an eye fur Godzilla or purrhaps even Bunzilla fur that matter XOX

  3. I am glad everyone survived this ordeal. I look forward to the next installment. I got your book that I won in the mail last week and I will be reading it very soon and blogging about it.

    1. Hey guys, glad the book arrived safe and sound, we do hope mew enjoy it!

      We'll be back next Tuesday with more shocking revelations and bizarre happenings, so we hope mew can join us then! XOX

  4. Meow Wow Basil another fine kettle of fish you have all gotten into only without the kettle so I do hope you all find a way off this cat-forsaken place of scant return (kind of like the bargain bin)
    Cant wait

  5. PepiSmartDog: wow what a great post! Love that you bring us onto your pirate ship. We burst out laughing when we saw your relaxing in your hammock. Hee Hee!
    Thank you for joining our Thankful Thursday Blog Hop.
    I love reading your posts each week and I’m very thankful to you each time you join us.
    Hope to see you back again this week too. *waves paw* :=o)

  6. OMB Basil,sorry my friend I've been out of the lope but I'm back now,xx Speedy


*Waves Paw* we love comments and do purr extra loud when mew leave one, and we do try to reply to effurypurrdy and visit mew too! ❤️❤️❤️

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