Tuesday, 26 July 2016

FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS ~ Revenge of the P.I.T.H ~ Part III

Welcome to

featuring our latest mind-blowing, fur-raising, dam-busting, bestest adventure to date!

The Heathen Hoard are on a mission to save Sleepy Hollow and life as they know it, can they do it?

Pawesome greetings supurr pals

Welcome to part III of our edge of your seat adventure, and if mew missed previous episodes, here's the catch up links:


A quick recap from the last episode:

I looked at the screen and was horrified to see a missile of unknown origin blazing its way toward us.  I gulped and said. "Amber, Humphrey give me news, stat!"

"The weapon is headed up top on the freight elevator, thirty seconds till garden breach, I repeat thirty seconds till garden breach!" Humphrey answered.

"Smooch, are mew ready fur weapon delivery?"

Smooch answered immediately. "Copy that... ready fur delivery, bunker doors are open!"

"I'm on my way!" I said racing towards the secret entrance behind the summer house.

 I emerged into the garden just as the huge anti missile gun, and shells appeared on the shiny steel platform.

Snowie's voice sounded. "Missile is at twenty clicks and closing... I repeat twenty clicks and closing."

I loaded up four shells and said. "Snowie co-ordinates now... ready Smooch?"

He nodded as Snowie said. "South west of your location."

I zeroed in and could see the blazing fire trail hurtling through the sky towards us and screamed, "Smooch on my twelve, fire now, I repeat fire now!"

"Copy that Basil!" Smooch answered as a manic grin engulfed his face and he pivoted the gun around on its axis. "Target acquired, firing now."  

I heard the trigger click and braced myself.

** And Cut **

Part III


Snowie's voice crackled offur the comms, "Basil ten clicks and closing, do something!"

I stared at Smoochie. "Smooch what the flip is happening?"

I heard the trigger click again and nothing happened.

"I'm trying Basil!" he squealed in terror.

My heart was pounding so fast, it was like a mini jackhammer in my chest.

Smooch squeezed the trigger again, my eyes scanned the anti-missile gun in an instant looking fur why it wasn't firing and that's when I saw a small red lever on the side and yanked it down.

"Five clicks and closing Basil!" Snowie said, her voice trembling with anxiety.

"FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! Fur Basts sake FIRE NOW!" I yelled as we sat there like sitting ducks in the middle of hunting season.

Smooch squeezed the trigger offur and offur, I could see the abject horror spreading across his little face as nothing happened again.

"Three clicks and closing, effurypurrdy brace fur impact!" Snowie hollered offur the comms unit.

My ear was suddenly filled with effurypurdy's panicked voices and I couldn't think as I watched the missile start its downward trajectory.

Parsley suddenly popped up next to me and stared at Smooch, then at the incoming missile blazing towards Sleepy Hollow and then at the huge gun.

"Two clicks and closing!" Snowie was screaming now.

Parsley sprung into action, and began to pump the little red lever up and down. 

"Smooch fire now," he said quickly.

Smooch adjusted the aim and squeezed the trigger offur and offur.

The ground rocked beneath our paws as four shells blasted skywards one aftur the other leaving us in an acrid grey gun-smoke smog as they zoomed towards the approaching missile.

"Basil one click and closing!" Snowie screamed louder than I effur thought possible.

A second later...

jumped towards the gun and clamped my paws offur my ears.  Parsley and Smooch followed suit as we took shelter from the blast fall-out.

The sky lit up like the fourth of July, not that we have the fourth of July here but I can't think of another more suitable simile right now! MOL

Heated radiated down from the colossal fireball fur a few moments, and then dissipated just as quickly.  Luckily all four shells had exploded along with the missile and even more fortunately any detritus had been vapourised in the explosion it was that hot.

I took a breath and rolled offur on the cool grass, letting my intense tension slip into the soft earth and said a brief prayer of thanks to Bast.

Suddenly my comms unit crackled. "Basil, are mew all OK?" Snowie asked. "What the flip happened?"

"All OK," I breathed heavily. "The gun wouldn't wurk!"

Parsley pressed his lips together and gulped.  He raised his paw and said,"That would be my fault."

I stared wide-eyed at him and he continued.

"Mew remember the bazooka incident?" Parsley said sheepishly. 

Smooch began to grin as he remembered it all too well. "Great times!" he murmured.

I nodded in agreement at Parsley's statement and tried to ignore Smooch's, keeping my expression neutral.

"Well aftur we nearly blew a hole in the bunker wall, I thought it would be prudent to make sure that something like that or wurse didn't happen again," he paused briefly and gulped again.  "So I fitted a primer switch to all the weapons that could cause the most damage if accidentally set off."

Smooch stared in disbelief and cuffed him round the ear as he said, "That's why the gun didn't fire, I thought it was me!  Mew nearly made me wet myself, oh wait a minute I did!"

Parsley nodded. "I furgot until I came up top and saw which gun it was, Basil I'm so sorry," he said softly. "I nearly got us all blown up trying to do the right thing."

I pondered this fur a moment, then said, "Dude, the good news is mew got here in time, saw the purroblem and solved it before total disaster struck.  The bad news is mew need to go and write me a list and take of photo of effury weapon that mew've altered like right now with a description of how to fire it aftur your modification and let us all have a copy on the double, as we're in a defcon one situation and we can't be having a close shave like that again because our equipment isn't wurking how it should."

"Parsley dude," Smooch said. "I'll come with and help ok?" then he added. "I need a quick wash furst before mew lot start calling me piddle-pants!"

Parsley sighed and nodded.

I watched as he and Smooch headed towards the bunker door behind the summer house and I said to Snowie. "Snowie get effurypurdy else into the control room now. Oh and leave C.J. on level eight with Horice, I'm sure he's really enjoying the downtime and a few niptini's!"

"Copy that Basil!" she answered. "And can I turn this blasted red light off it's giving me a headache?!"

"Sure!" I replied with a smile.

A few minutes later we were all assembled.

"Guys, we've had some close calls," I began. "But today was a little out there, obviously I wasn't expecting the PITH-heads to attack quite so soon but they did and this shows us exactly what we're up against. And I certainly didn't know that young Parsley had been modifying the weapons either."

There was a collective sigh as we let the last fifteen minutes of high tension slip away.

"Basil," Humphrey began. "That was some serious attack, these PITH-heads really mean business and aftur their furst attack failed I can only imagine what they're cooking up!"

"Yeah!" said Amber. "We need to go on the defensive like yesterday!"

"Indeed," I agreed. "Posie did mew find anything out in the cloud?"

"Not really," she answered. "But I did see a serial number on the missile if that will help?"

Amber said, "Tell me quick."

Posie gave her the serial number and Amber began typing on the nearest keyboard. 

"Searching all databases now," she said. "OK, it was a short range pre-programmed missile readily available on the black market, howeffur this one was of unknown origin which is highly suspect!  Where on earth would they get an unmarked missile within such a short space of time?"

I thought about this fur a moment and then it hit me like a wet fish around the chops. "I know exactly where they'd get something like that!" I said through gritted teeth.

My four fur-sibs stared at me with expectant faces.

"Dwight Dastardly!" I snarled.

"Who the flip is Dwight Dastardly?" came the collective question.

"He's a dodgy dealer in arms and ammunition's!" I said. "Whateffur mew need he can get it as long as mew've got a big enough bank balance."

 The room fell silent as the implications of the PITH-heads having an arsenal to be reckoned with sank in.

"That's seriously bad news dude," Humphrey said.

"Mew have no idea," I replied. "I used him myself in the past when I needed stuff that I couldn't get legit and he always delivered."

"OH flip!" Amber breathed.

"Yep!" I replied.

"That's where mew got most of the stuff fur the bunker isn't it?" Snowie said as the realization sank in.

I nodded.

"And that means that the PITH-heads have probably got a full inventory of our armoury now?" Amber added.

I nodded again. "Highly likely!"

"OH *&@&!" Humphrey cursed. "Can this day get any wurse?"

Just then the bunkers private telephone began to ring.  Snowie jumped off the chair and headed to the comms station.

"Put it on loud speaker and use the bogus business name when mew answer," I said quickly. "And no-purrdy make a sound."

"Welcome to the Cats Whiskers Holistic Health Retreat, this is Suki how may I help mew?" Snowie said sweetly.

"Cut the crap!" a voice growled through the speaker. "And get me Basil Widdairs right now otherwise mew'll be getting another surprise!"

"Let mew put mew on hold just one second while I redirect your call," Snowie continued in her sweetest tone.

She pushed a button and put the PITH-head on hold before saying, "What the flip do we do now? Those maggots have even got our private unlisted number!"

I didn't have time to stall, so I said. "Start the trace and put him on the loud speaker now!"

Snowie pushed the trace button and released the hold button.

"This is Basil Widdairs," I said. "What do mew want?"

A malevolent laugh rang out. "Mew have no idea how long I've waited to hear your voice and now I can tell mew exactly how I'm going to ruin your life once and fur all."

** And Cut **

It's that time of the post again, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!

Such as:

OMC How could mew leave us hanging like that and we've got a whole week to wait?!! Again!!

Jeez young Parsley nearly caused a total wipe-out, how come mew didn't know he'd been tinkering with the weapons on the sly?

What's C.J. and Horice up to?

Surely with C.J. being Primo Director of the F.I.B. he wouldn't really be getting off his chops on a beach on level 8, especially at a time like this would he?

Are there any pedalo's or lilo's on the oasis in level 8?

Who is this Dwight Dastardly purrson?

Can we get his number?

Does he sell tanks?

Do mew think he'd sell us one?


We're sure mew  purrobably have many more but to be honest we can't think of any right now as a whole new bad scenario has just turned up!

Many thanks fur joining us today and don't furget to come back next Tuesday fur Part IV

Until then


Bestest purrs

Agent Basil & The Heathen Hoard

[Bunker Background Images used under license from Shutterstock.com]


  1. OH MY WORD! I was so much on the edge of my seat I fell off! Maybe an unfriendly visit to D Dastardly is called for, just to even things up a bit? PS Could I get a tan on Level 8 if I came for a holiday?

    1. Oh dear Erin, mew didn't hurt yourself did mew? Yes mew know we're going a visiting next week! And yes, mew can get a tan in the bio-sphere on level 8 - no wurries! MOL XOX

  2. OMC OMC OMC!!! You had me cowering under the computer desk waiting for the big bang. However did the Pith Heads get your private number? Did dastardly Dwight Dastardly give it to them?

    1. Sorry Flynn!!! We have no idea how the PITH-heads got our number, but think that Dwight Dastardly did probably relinquish that privvy info as mew said - just wait and see what happens next week!!! MOL XOX

  3. guys....we cracked up " The sky lit up like the fourth of July, not that we have the fourth of July here but I can't think of another more suitable simile right now! MOL "

    if de skyz round heer did due that on de 4th.... everee one wood be like smooch

    N what cha wanna bet dwight iz a double spiez kinda dood...him hasta bee .....sellin weaponz two ewe AND de pith headz .....

    another total lee awesum chapturr everee one....we will wait im payshunt lee til next week.... but we will all sew take three numberz fivez ☺☺☺♥♥♥

    1. Really tabbies, would effuryone be a piddle pants? Oh dear, not good - purrhaps we need to think of more suitable similes fur next week!!! MOL

      Defo Dwight is a double agent, fur sure... we will get to the bottom of it next week.... MOL MOL And 3 x NO: 5'S and a side order of kraken rice with extra crunch has been dispatched! XOX

  4. That was quite an explosion. I am glad you were able to stop it in time.

    1. Guys it was touch and go there fur a moment, but luckily Parsley came and solved the purroblem! XOX

  5. Oh my mouses, Basil! That was SO intense. I was on the edge of my seat, for sure. So was the peep until she read, "Mew remember the bazooka incident?" and laughed so hard she fell off. Seriously, Basil. If she had a tail, she'd be tripping all over it every time she laughed. MOSUES!


    PS. Can't wait 'til next week! purrs

    1. Hey Seville, yep the bazooka incident remains fresh in my mind!!! Smooch can be rather reckless that's why I put him in charge of Health & Safety so hopefully he can learn a bit of common sense!!! MOL XOX


*Waves Paw* we love comments and do purr extra loud when mew leave one, and we do try to reply to effurypurrdy and visit mew too! ❤️❤️❤️

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