Tuesday, 12 September 2017

THE LAST BIG JOLLY ~ Part VIII Of Our Latest Epically Epic Adventure!

Welcome to



In our latest mind-blowing, fur-raising, most epically epic adventure to date when we attempt to travel around the wurld in 42 and a bit days!

What could possibly go wrong?

Pawesome greetings supurr pals

Welcome to Part VIII of our latest saga and we know this is the post mew've all been waiting fur since fureffur, and many apologies fur not posting last week - so let's get started and put mew guys out of your cliff-hanging, claw-biting, fur-raising suspense! 

To catch up on the action, here's the links fur the previous episodes:


A quick recap from the last episode:

And right at that moment Parsley went ballistic. It was a sight to behold, the squealing was horrific and 30 seconds later the mercs were on the floor surrounded with more firepower aimed at them than mew could imagine.  Even Bob was on the front row, his H&K resting on the leaders snout and he said in a tone that even made me shiver. "Go ahead punk, make my day!"

"Mew should have opted fur option one," I grinned savagely as they lay bleeding on the floor. "Strip them down, tie them up and throw them in the brig."

I untied Fudge and Humphrey helping them to their paws. "Are mew guys ok?"

They nodded and Fudge who was royally peeved walked up to their leader and clocked him on the snout with the butt of his gun. "That's fur knocking me out fatty!" he spat.

"Nice move Fudge," I said as we dragged the porkers down the corridor.

 A few minutes later they were incarcerated in the brig and put into stasis until we decided what to do with them.  "Righty ho then," I said in a rather chipper voice. "Who wants to see Rome?  Parsley don't furget the camera drone!"

I saw a show of raised paws and laughed. "Guys we're back in control and need to make up some time, so let's get to it."

Posie suddenly materialized and said. "Hiya guys, did I miss anything, I was stuck in the matrix and couldn't get free!"

We all burst out laughing and told her of our ordeal.

A few minutes later we were piling out of the door of the TTTB and breathing in the sweet aroma of Rome.  

"Come on effurypurrdy, get in to position," Parsley yelled as the camera drone hovered above the Trevi Fountain, and so the Bucket List continued in full earnest.

Several destinations later and back on the bridge I plonked down in my chair, smooshing my derriere in the squeaky pleather and picked up the bucket list and began to cross off our recent destinations.  I chuckled as I thought of how I finally purrsuaded Bob to join us from the Camel Racing in Khartoum onwards and what a great time we had.

'That was a really great few hours,' I thought happily.

"Basil," Fudge said as he sidled up to me.

"Yeah what's up dude?" I replied smiling.

"How would mew feel if I said, we've got an uninvited hitch-hiker on-board?" Fudge grimaced.



There's A Freakin' Alien On-Board

**And Action!**

"What?" I choked out. "Mew can't be serious dude!!"

Fudge nodded and Smooch said. "It's true Basil, on the last full TTTB scan just now we picked up a thermal image outside the holding cells where me and Parsley put the RMD's and the porkers."

"Oh fur flips sake!" I sighed. "OK mew heathens get weaponed up as we're going to bag us another flippin' infiltrator on-board, we can't take any chances as seriously this trip is nothing like I expected it would be... I thought we were going on a nice, relaxing, uber chilled, no excitement furmilly vay-cay and all we've had since we left home is one big cluster freakin' nightmare!"

"Basil," Snowie said worriedly. "It would appear that our uninvited guest is heading this way fast!"

"Parsley, Smooch and Fudge mew take the main corridor," I replied trying to put a plan together in my head. "Humphrey, what's the latest on Astrid?"

"Basil I've managed to quarantine Astrid to a flash-drive," he waved a small device at me. "So she's fully contained and we have total control of the TTTB right now."

I nodded. "Good, Pandora what's our next destination?"

"Dakar is our next destination Basil," she answered in her odd little foreign accent.

"Amber set the TTTB in motion," I ordered.

"On it!" Amber replied as she began to tap the control console.

"Posie, mew go and see who the flip is on-board and report back, ok?"

"No wurries Basil," Posie said and did her disappearing act.

"Effurrypurrdy on comms channel six, in 3... 2... 1... and go!" Snowie instructed.

"Channel six is a go!" we all replied as the TTTB fired up.

*    *    *

"On my six Smooch!" Parsley whispered as they headed stealthily along the main corridor and passed the Katzen Karaoke Bar. "Fudge mew're on Smooch's six ok?"

Fudge nodded and checked his AA12. "On it Parsley."

They were just about the round the corner when Parsley signalled fur a full stop.

"Dudes, something's wrong!" Parsley hissed as his hackles bristled.

Fudge peered back along the corridor and murmured. "There's something coming up behind us, I just know something is creeping up on us... I can feel it!"

"How the flip could somepurrdy out-flank us?" Smooch wundered as he loaded his rocket launcher.

"I don't know!" Parsley answered quietly, then hit his comms unit. "Snowie gimme stats on Basil and Humphrey, we've got a bogie behind us!" 

"Basil and Humphrey are still on the bridge," Snowie replied immediately. "Bob is here too, I'm scanning now..."

*    *   *

"Basil, Parsley says..." Snowie began.

"I heard him Snowie," I replied. "Humphrey mew've got the bridge with Bob, hold anything off that comes this way unless it's us of course!"

Bob looked really wurried as he checked his H&K and his extra ammo. "Basil?" he warbled. 

"Yes little dude," I replied as I picked up my AK47 and a bag of extra clips.

"While I know all about your earth weapons as I did an in-depth study on them before we met," he began. "I've neffur actually shot anything before."

I patted him gently on the head and said softly. "Dude, if it's a choice between mew or the enemy, what are mew going to do?"

Bob gave me a long hard look before replying. "Save myself and mew guys."

I gave him 'the' nod and turned to Humphrey. "Hand out the rest of the weapons we have here and dude don't let anypurrdy take the bridge ok."

"Basil don't stress, we've got this, five against one, we're good dude," Humphrey grinned. "Now go see what's stalking the heathens."

*    *    *

Posie, in her invisible form was rapidly cruising the lower levels of the TTTB where the Space-Hog Bounty Hunters were incarcerated in the brig, she hovered outside their cell and listened fur a moment, but all was silent.  Peering through the bars she could see them all still trussed, bound and gagged but she observed the stasis field was off-line as they were trembling.  She watched them fur a moment longer to make sure no funny business was happening and noticed they looked terrified, as they all stared up towards the ceiling which was shrouded in total darkness. 

"Good news, that'll teach 'em, they met their match with us!" she murmured quietly and went to check the next cell with the RMD#1 in.  As she looked through the bars she could see a pile of scrap metal residing on the floor in a rather ungainly heap.

"More good news, but I must tell the guys to clean up that icky goo off the floor before it leaves a stain, and check that faulty stasis generator," she said to herself and floated off towards the nearest computer console.

"Snowie, this is Posie, all clear on the lower levels," she said quietly.

"Posie, the heathens have a purroblem," Snowie replied quickly and relayed the info. "Basil is on his way but the scanners aren't picking anything up at all now, so they're blind and they reckon they've been flanked!"

Posie flew up the nearest stairwell as fast as she could and burst out into an empty corridor.

"This is taking too long!" she chided herself and dove straight through the nearest wall and vanished.

*    *    *

I was following in the heathens paw-steps, travelling as fast as possible around the maze-like corridors.  I could hear Snowie's updates through my comms unit and was really peeved when I heard the scanner was down. '@&#$!' I swore to myself.

I was just about to ask if we had any bio-imaging infrared tech on-board when Posie popped out of the wall right next to me.  To be honest I nearly hit the ceiling she was the last purrson I expected to catch me unawares.

"Mew nearly gave me a heart-attack!" I hissed.

She grinned at me and replied in a low voice. "It was the fastest route to mew!"

"Come on, the heathens can't be much further ahead now," I whispered as we moved along the corridor.

"Basil?" Snowie's voice sounded offur my comms unit.

"Here," I answered quietly.

"Stop, do not take another step!" she said. "There's something just around the next corner, I can't determine what it is but there's a really odd energy signature coming through on the secondary back-up wave-sensor, tell Posie to go check."

I relayed the message and Posie vanished, she came back a few seconds later, materializing in front of me and said. "Basil it's not good, there's this thing..."


She shuddered, her eyes were like saucers as she nodded. "A hideous scary, evil looking alien thing, like hideously horrendous!"

"Snowie tell the heathens to back away, Posie says there's a hideous scary, evil looking alien thing lurking."

"Basil," Parsley said through the comms. "We aren't backing off, we've got this alien sandwiched between us, let's take it down."

"Parsley, we can't, we'd all be caught in the crossfire, we need to lure it somewhere else before we start opening fire," I replied as quietly as possible.

I felt a soft bump as the TTTB landed and suddenly I had an idea and quickly relayed my harebrained schemed to effurypurrdy.

*    *    *

"Is effurypurrdy ready?" I asked a few minutes later.

A unanimous reply of, "We're good to go!" came back.  I took a huge intake of breath and readied myself.

I crept around the corner and whistled, then shouted, "Wooo Hooo Mr Alien Mew're One Flippin' Ugly Mother Freaker!"

The alien who'd been creeping soundlessly towards the heathens turned, saw me flipping it the burd and launched itself in my direction.

"Holy Mother of Bast!" I shrieked as I ran fur all I was wurth, knowing that if this thing caught me I was toast fur sure.

I could hear it right behind me, the noise was terrifying as I burst onto the now empty bridge and headed at break-neck pace fur the exit.

Shooting out of the door, my paws landed on hot sand and I struggled to get any purchase fur a second on the soft, squidgy surface.  I heard the door crash open behind me and then the most blood-curdling, fur-quivering, spine-tingling scream as the alien leapt towards me.  It sounded really peeved off, and I mean really PEEVED.

Scrambling despurrately, my paws finally found traction as my adrenaline ramped up fifteen notches giving me an inner reserve of speed.  I shot forward just as the alien landed in the exact spot I'd just been. Luckily it slipped and stumbled on the soft, pliable ground, giving me valuable seconds to get ahead again.

"Basil offur here!" Humphrey yelled, waving his paws like a mad-cat possessed.

I could hear Pandora, Amber, Posie, Bob and Snowie screaming hysterically from the top of a sand dune, even though they were carrying more artillery than a bunch of renegade mercenaries.

Behind me I heard the heathens as they exited the TTTB and began to open fire.

"Hit the deck!" Humphrey yelled as I reached him.

We both fell to the sand as the heathens unleashed their furry own brand of hell.

FYI here's the stats:

Dakar: Some Sand Dunes  Date: 2015  Dimension: 52 ~  Blue Sector
Danger: 100% *  Risk of Injury: 100%*   Risk of Mortality: 100%*  Outside Temp: +47  
Air Quality: Supurr Duper Sweaty

[*Highly Dangerous Place - Especially if mew have an insane alien killing machine aftur mew!]

That mother freakin' alien was hurtling aftur us, and getting closer.

Smooch fired his rocket launcher*, Fudge and Parsley went berserk, and all mew could hear was this*.

"Don't stop firing dude!" Parsley yelled as he reloaded his Uzi's tossing the spent clips the the ground.

Fudge kept his paw the trigger on his AA12* until the drum mag was empty.  Releasing the spent drum, he deftly reloaded and began to fire again.

[*gun sound effects - well mew get the picture! MOL]

The noise was deafening, the smell of acrid gun drifted offur the hot sand as me and Humphrey rolled down the side of dune.

In the next moment, Smooch fired again and...
 ...then effurything else went quiet. 

Parsley hollered. "We got that sucker dudes HOOAH!!!!!"

The heathens whooped, cheered, high-pawed and generally went berserk again as bits of the alien fell to the ground in smoking squelching heaps of charred, cindered flesh.

I helped Humphrey up the side of the sand dune and we looked at the carnage. Alien guts were effurywhere, and to be honest I was quiet relieved not to have been splattered in them.

Amber, Snowie, Pandora, Posie and Bob were jumping fur joy atop the other dune and suddenly came running towards us.

Aftur a few minutes of congratulations at our victory, Fudge said gravely, "Dudes, I've seen those Aliens before, they're them face-hugging, lava laying, busting out of the chest heinous mother freakers!"

We all turned to stare at him wide-eyed and and I said. "Fudge what aren't mew telling us?"

He took a breath and replied. "I was only a kitten when one crash landed at the farm we lived at..." he began to tremble and dropped his gun to the floor. "I was the only survivor but I saw what that thing did..."

'That explains a lot,' I thought too myself, then said gently. "Tell us more if mew can dude."

He gulped. "The big ones like that lay eggs covered in slimey goo, and a nasty lava thing hatches and searches fur any living creature, which it then impregnates ... a while later a baby one of those bigger ones bursts out of the victims chest... and goes on a killing spree..."

None of us had the wurds to express our sorrow fur his horrific kitten-hood experience.  I patted him gently on the shoulder and then said. "Today my brofur mew got payback!"

He nodded and wiped a tear from his eye.

Parsley and Smooch were talking in sign language again; paws waving wildly and gesturing in all manner of obscene ways as they obviously didn't want to mar the moment of Fudges deeply disturbing revelation.

Snowie hugged Fudge as I sidled up to the two heathens and asked quietly. "What's the boggle dudes?"

Parsley looked at me. "If those alien freakers lay eggs, what's to say there aren't any on the TTTB?"

Smooch nodded sagely and added. "They could have hatched by now and be looking fur a host!"


It's that time of the post, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!

Such as:

OMC How could mew leave us hanging like that and we've got a whole week to wait?!

OH MY COD!!!!! OH MY COD!!!!! OH MY COD!!!!!

Like seriously ~ What the flip is going on?

Seriously dudes, what if mew have alien eggs on-board?

And creepy alien lava crawling all offur the place - eeeeeewwwwwww! 

And how will mew hunt them down?

Or even kill them before they face-hug and impregnate mew? 

What are mew going to do?

Jeez, this is real bad!

On another note Dakar looks rather sandy, how was it?

Do mew think the Eveeel One is behind this too?

Can Bob help?

If mew have any questions, or would like to offur input, leave us a comment, as mew know we luffs them so much! MOL

Join us fur Part Nine of our Summer Blockbuster next Tuesday, when we continue on our epically epic adventure.... who knows what will happen.... as now we may have an alien infestation! 

Until then

Bestest purrs

Basil & The 'B' Team

*    *   *

TTTB Interior images By MaxFX used under license from Shutterstock 
Bunker Background Images used under license from Shutterstock.com
Monster Images by Albert Ziganshin used under license from Shutterstock.com
All Destination Backgrounds used under paid Pizap Licence + Alien Image


  1. Oh ky goodness, that really is an epic adventure. The only time I see aliens is at Halloween! Thanks for joining the Thankful Thursday Blog Hop!

    1. Hi Brian, oh wow so Halloween is really kinda serious around your place? If mew need any help just shout, we're experts mew know! MOL XOX

  2. Holy catman, what an epic adventure. Ya'll be safe, okay?

    1. Hey guys, yep this is some serious adventure, we'll do our best to be safe, although no guarantees can be made in a situation like this!! MOL XOX

  3. Dudes, Basil, this is one seriously Epic Adventure!!! Love your space ship pictures, and awesome weapons too. That slippery creature sounds way worse that the Kraken.... Maybe if we got her tool up and full metal body armour she could find a way to get to you???
    Purrs till the next frightening exciting and Epically EPIC Episode

    PS Do watch out for that sand as it will play havoc with your rugs!

    1. Hiya Erin, oh yep that SOB [son of a beast] is way wurse than the kraken, but at least the kraken has got a bit more size and a lot more tentacles, it could wurk!!! Get your smithy friend to start making some armour!!! MOL XOX

  4. Basil! Dood! I was like seriously perched on the edge of my comfy chair while reading this Epic of all Epics. That alien scared my floofy tail straight. And to even think that there might be baby aliens hiding on your ship, waiting to nest inside you... Argh! I can't wait until next Tuesday!

    Good job, Basil and the B Team!

    1. Herms dude, sorry didn't mean to scare mew that much buddy, have a bit of nip rum and chill fur a bit, and yep next time it just gets wurse so bring the bottle of nip rum with mew! MOL XOX

  5. OMC, Basil, what an adventure ! Claire is still shaking from seeing this alien ! Purrs

    1. Hi Swiss Cats, oh my tell Claire not to look at the pics, just read the story instead! MOL XOX

  6. OMC! How can I even think of going to sleep tonight. Super epically epic and worth waiting an extra week to be scared half to death.

    1. Hey dudes, mew guys should be with us on this one, could use a couple of supurr soldiers like mew! XOX

  7. Those aliens are worse sounding than fleas and ticks, Eeuuwwwww!

    Not the best bedtime tale fur anyfur...

    1. Hiya Pipo & Mr Jack, yep way wurse than ticks and fleas, and definitely not a bedtime read either! MOL XOX

  8. Wow, what a big adventure waiting for your. Stay safe and keep sharing it with us:)

    1. Hi Henry, oh mew can count us us to keep sharing dude, this adventure is going to take quite a while to conclude! MOL XOX

  9. Do you sell your surplus weapons and supplies?!?! Because we could use a cadre of our own!

    1. Hiya Momma Kat, Bear & Ellie, no we don't sell anything but we can give mew Dwight Dastardly's cell number - our dodgy dealer in arms and ammo - and he can hook mew guys up with anything mew want, just give us the nod and we'll make the intro! MOL XOX

  10. aaaaaaaiiiiiyeeeeeeeeeeeee; itz de cuzin oh de kraken......... we hope ta cod de bass terdz knot laid eggz in sum one ewe noe..... faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    N posie....we had ta laff coz thatz total lee kewl what ewe can due...just sayin

    N fudge buddy...we hope ta cod ewe can get de stuff outta yur mindz eye oh what ewe saw aza wee one ~~~ ♥♥

    total lee epic thiz week guyz !! 984 paws UP !! ☺☺☺

    1. Tabbies dudes, mew are killing us MOL MOL itz de cuzin oh de kraken......... yep it could be fur sure!!! MOL XOX

  11. That's one amazing adventure!
    Have a wonderful Wednesday...

    Noodle and crew

    1. Thanks Noodle, and the same to mew! XOX

  12. Maybe the alien just took offense at you flipping it the bird, Basil? ;)

    We sure hope there aren't any eggs...

    1. Hey guys, yep mew know we can't get that lucky... mew've already seen the next post!! MOL XOX

  13. Oh my gosh! I thought those alien things were only on the moving picture box that I watch with Mom & Dad . But you are saying they are REAL?! Eek! And maybe the furkins is Ripley? Boy I sure hope there are no signs of the nasty aliens on your ship! Mew Mew!

    1. Hiya Valentine, yep it's ok when they're on the MPB in the safety of your living room, not good in real life dude... Maybe Furkins is Newt???!!! MOL XOX


*Waves Paw* we love comments and do purr extra loud when mew leave one, and we do try to reply to effurypurrdy and visit mew too! ❤️❤️❤️

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