Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Our Latest Adventure is HERE! FAST, FURRY & DANGEROUS ~ Revenge of the P.I.T.H ~ Part II

Welcome to

featuring our latest mind-blowing, fur-raising, dam-busting, bestest adventure to date!

The Heathen Hoard are on a mission to save Sleepy Hollow, can they do it?

Pawesome greetings supurr pals

Welcome to part II of our edge of your seat adventure, and if mew missed last weeks episode, here's the link:


A quick recap from the last episode:

Posie ambled to a glass box which appeared as if by magic from the centre of the main control panel, inside suspended mid-air was a gold metal disc which seemed to be rotating of its own volition.  Paw extended she reached straight through the glass and touched the disc, a second later her light body glowed a vivid gold and she seemed to pulse with the golden light.  

C.J. took a sharp inhale, "Oh my cat!"

Posie withdrew her paw and appeared even more solid than she had before.

"I can touch and feel stuff when I'm fully charged," she said smugly and then chuckled as she added. "The aftur-life has posed no challenge fur me!"

"I'm furry impurressed," C.J. said in amazement and then turned to me saying. "Agent Basil, The Bureau could really use some of that tech if mew're willing to share?"

I shrugged and then said. "C.J. I'm not an agent anymore, mew know that!"

He took a slow, deep breath before answering. "I'm here to officially reinstate mew. It's in your contract, Claws 10, sub-section 89J, paragraph 15, line 7."   He pulled a copy of my contract out of the briefcase and handed it to me.

The hoard stared in disbelief and then pandemonium erupted.

** And Cut **

Part II

Sticking it to the Bureau and a big surprise!

"Quiet!" I shouted as my fur-sibs were all talking at once.

No way! Not fair! That's garbage! Basil would neffur sign that! It's a fake! It's a travesty!

Basil mew aren't going back, are mew?  What will we do without mew? 

I was horrified to say the least when C.J. waved the contract in front of me. 

"What is all this nonsense?" I asked, my voice hardened to steel. 

"It's in your contract," C.J. answered rather sheepishly.

"What's all this Claws 10 fluff mew just mentioned?" I asked. "I do not, and I repeat I do not effur remember signing anything that would give the F.I.B. any power to reinstate me aftur my retirement!"

C.J. took a weary sigh.  "Just before mew left, all agents signed a new contract and Claws 10 was the addendum to the existing contracts," he said. "Look here's your paw-print."  He pointed to the back page.

"What's the date?" I asked.

C.J. looked at the back page before answering. "It says 25th October 2009."

"Give it to me," I said sharply. "And effurypurrdy clear out, I need a minute alone!"

The Hoard trooped out into the corridor followed by C.J. and I hit the button to close the doors.  I just couldn't believe this was happening, not now, not aftur all this time.

Hearing the uproar breaking out in the corridor as the hoard began to verbally roast C.J. did make me smile fur about sixteen seconds and then I turned my attention to the task at paw.

I took the contract and sat at the centre console with my magnifying glass and read the microscopic small-print.

"Flipping flip, freaking flipping flip!" I spat angrily as I read the Claws 10, sub-section 89J, paragraph 15, line 7.

It said and I quote.

'Any former or retired agent can be reinstated at anytime by the Field Investigation Bureau at their sole discretion.'

It was that simple.  I stared at the back page at my signature and then at the date and cast my mind back trying to remember if I actually signed it or not, and to be honest I really couldn't remember.

Aftur several minutes of deliberation I opened the doors and called them all back in. 

Smooch cracked up laughing when he saw the metal bin and me holding a lit match to the contract.

It burst into flames a moment later and I said. "C.J. I'm not being pressed-ganged... not by mew or the F.I.B. and this is what I think to your Claws freaking 10 garbage!"

C.J nodded and said. "I thought mew'd say that."

The Hoard whooped in delight as I stood my ground saying. "I understand your position as Primo Director C.J. but mew should know better than anypurrdy, if mew put a lever on me, a herd of wild horses won't make me do anything I don't want to do.

C.J. mopped his brow with a floppy red hanky and then blew his nose. "That's why I have a different kind of purrposal fur mew as my furst exercise didn't wurk," he said and then carefully surveyed the rest of the hoard with a keen appraising eye.

"I'm listening," I said flatly watching my fur-sibs expressions, knowing that they were all as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

"Agent Basil, mew were our top oppurrative fur so long and no-one knows the job better than mew," C.J. began. "Plus mew were the only Agent to gain intimate knowledge of the rogue PITH Agents before their incarceration and survive, that in itself is a rare achievement."

I watched him thoughtfully as he took a deep breath and continued. "The F.I.B. needs mew to take down these rogue agents by any means necessary, if mew were to come back as an Agent then any fallout would be down to the F.I.B not mew purrsonally, but I understand if that's not what mew want."

I considered what C.J. said and replied. "Is there no-one else to take those PITH-heads down?"

"No, not with your expertise and skillz," C.J. answered. "I'd just be sending Agents on a suicide mission."

I knew he was right, agents today just didn't have the same 'grit' as us old-school hard-cases.

I stared at my fur-sibs, Smooch was grinning like the Cheshire cat that got all the cream, the catnip and the mouse mousse, I could see a hundred scenarios zooming through his mind as he thought about getting into the FRAY!  'Oh Goddess Bast have murcy on my soul fur this!' I thought.

"C.J. I'll do this one job fur mew," I said resolutely knowing that if I didn't we were all doomed anyway. "But there are several conditions or claws's."

"OK," C.J. answered carefully, removing a notepad and a fountain pen from his briefcase.

"Furst, there is no I, we are a team..."

Smooch whooped and high-fived the entire hoard before saying. "Yeah we're a team, mister fibber primo boss cat!" he laughed.

I gave Smooch a 'that was a little too much dude,' look before I continued. "C.J. the F.I.B. can hire us all, aka The B-Team as independent contractors or clean-up facilitators to rectify your purroblem but with the F.I.B. taking all responsibility fur any fallout, casualties, property damage and the like," I saw the look on C.J.'s face as he paled. "This is not a negotiation C.J. it's a take it or leave it offur!"

C.J. scribbled frantically on his official F.I.B. notepad before saying, "Continue."

"The F.I.B. will provide all the latest tech to be at our disposal immediately and also provide any vehicles, aircraft or other items that we may require to bring the PITH-heads in, including any specialized tech and weapons that are not common knowledge to the wurld at large, plus the use of any prototype gadgets or gizmo's that could assist us, agreed?"

C.J. chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully, paling further as he scribbled, and I added. "Mew will pay our fee fifty purrcent up-front and the remainder of the balance upon completion within twenty-four hours of receiving our invoice, and any bounty bonus's fur bringing in the PITH alive, agreed?"

I was watching C.J. intently as he chewed the end of his pencil thoughtfully and upon hearing this invoice claws he nearly choked on it.  Parsley gave him a firm slap on the back and the pen flew across the room.  Amber picked it up and threw it like a dart, and it landed nib furst in the centre of his notepad, quivering slightly.

"Impurressive!" he murmured and began to scribble his notes again.

"C.J. do we have a deal?" I asked wundering if I'd asked fur too much and then thought, nah, mew can neffur ask fur enough from a government agency.  Then I thought, did I miss something, or is there anything else that I should have added, so I said. "I also want an addendum that if I want to add more to the contract howeffur bizarre it may seem to mew, I can and there will be no penalties fur this."

I knew I was pushing it, but I also knew that C.J. had nowhere else to go other than me.

He took off his flat cap, exhaled loudly and mopped his brow with a blue hanky this time, wiped his paws and re-read his notes.  Aftur a few minutes of silence he addressed us all.

"Basil and the hoard aka The B-Team I have considered your purrpsosal and terms plus calculated the risks, if mew will read and sign here," he proffered the notepad to me and tapped the bottom of the page. "We have a deal."

I took it and read each and effury wurd to make sure it was exactly as I had said and not a slippery F.I.B. version slash loose translation of my demands, meaning they could renege due to inappropriate phrasing or the like. 

Squirting some of the ink from the pen on my paw, I placed my paw-print on the paper, C.J. did the same and as it dried, he asked.  "Can I get a copy purrlease?" 

Snowie took the new official yet unofficial, make-do fur now contract and scanned a copy to our computer before printing one off fur C.J.

"I will have to make an official one when I get back to the office, but this will suffice fur now," he said.

I nodded extending my paw, C.J. and I shook on it "Indeed, when do we start?"

At that moment the ambient lighting in the control room changed from it's normal serene-blue to a rather disconcerting red glow and effurypurrdy exchanged rather anxious looks as this had neffur happened before.

Then the early warning air raid siren automatically blared out through the loud speakers around the entire bunker.

[FYI we modelled the noise on the world war II sirens as if anything would get your attention it's this]

[Press play fur effect!]

Our furriendly A.I. [artificial intelligence] system then spoke in her usual grating, metallic voice. "Sleepy Hollow is under attack, we have a missile incoming, evasive action is required immediately. Survival rate is less than five percent if evasive action is not taken within the next four minutes"

"Basil what the flip is happening?" Humphrey asked.

"Snowie give me intel now, effurypurrdy on comms channel six, I repeat comms channel six. Amber, mew and Humphrey get down to level two and see what weapons we have fur taking out missiles," I said urgently, my cold and calculating cool taking offur automatically. "Smooch get up top now, Posie do your cloud thing and Parsley take C.J. get down to level eight, Horice will take care of him and then meet me and Smooch up top!"

Effurypurrdy scrambled like a well oil machine.

Amber and Humphrey launched through the drop chute in the wall, as it was the fastest route to all other levels.

Snowie said. "Basil the missile is fifty clicks and counting."

"Keep me posted," I said. "Amber what's the good news?"

The comms channel crackled and Amber replied. "We are on level two, the computer inventory show's we have an anti missile gun, which fires armour piercing 50 cal rounds and is modified fur shells too... Humphrey is in the forklift now!"

"We have less than four minutes to get it up top, armed and ready, get going... tick tock... tick tock!" I said.

"Copy that," Humphrey and Amber said in unison.

"Snowie, stats now."

"Missile is at forty clicks and closing," she answered. "The drone has been deployed...  mega zoom activated... on screen in five, four, three, two, one... we have a visual."

I looked at the screen and was horrified to see a missile of unknown origin blazing its way toward us.  I gulped and said. "Amber, Humphrey give me news, stat!"

"The weapon is headed up top on the freight elevator, thirty seconds till garden breach, I repeat thirty seconds till garden breach!" Humphrey answered.

"Smooch, are mew ready fur weapon delivery?"

Smooch answered immediately. "Copy that... ready fur delivery, bunker doors are open!"

"I'm on my way!" I said racing towards the secret entrance behind the summer house.

 I emerged into the garden just as the huge anti missile gun, and shells appeared on the shiny steel platform.

Snowie's voice sounded. "Missile is at twenty clicks and closing... I repeat twenty clicks and closing."

I loaded up four shells and said. "Snowie co-ordinates now... ready Smooch?"

He nodded as Snowie said. "South west of your location."

I zeroed in and could see the blazing fire trail hurtling through the sky towards us and screamed, "Smooch on my twelve, fire now, I repeat fire now!"

"Copy that Basil!" Smooch answered as a manic grin engulfed his face and he pivoted the gun around on its axis. "Target acquired, firing now."  

I heard the trigger click and braced myself.

** And Cut **

It's that time of the post again, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!

Such as:

OMC How could mew leave us hanging like that and we've got a whole week to wait?!!

But seriously dudes, this no joke, what's going to happen if mew don't stop that missile?

Nice wurk getting C.J. to agree to all your terms, we're mew also a lawyer?

It seems like the PITH-heads have no rules of engagement, how will mew deal with that?

Will Horice really be ok with C.J. invading his private oasis without prior invitation?

What does Posie do in the cloud?

Can we get an air raid siren installed at our house?


We're sure mew  purrobably have many more but to be honest we can't think of any right now as we're under attack... eeeeeek!

Many thanks fur joining us today and don't furget to come back next Tuesday fur Part III

Until then


Bestest purrs

Agent Basil & The Heathen Hoard

[Bunker Background Images used under license from Shutterstock.com]


  1. guys....ewe shuld make a moovee !!! awesum storee ☺☺☺ ....we iz ree assured that de mizzle waz eggs ploded N dinna hit yur gardin yur opz buildin ore any oh thoz total lee awesum burd free treez....bravo...another chapturr well written & N joyed reedin...{ we hope ewe guys R gettin paid...well.....veree veree veree well ~~~~ tripull double chex CJ contract for inviz abull claws ~~~ ♥♥♥♥

    1. Tabbies, mew are so right about a movie - do mew know a film crew? MOL

      Mew know that we'll take care of the missile, but it'd be no fun at all without all that tension!!! MOL MOL XOX

  2. You did well negotiating your terms for dealing with the Pith Heads, Basil. I hope you destroy that missile before it destroys you, but I have a feeling you will succeed.

    1. Thanks Flynn, mew know that we've got it covered, but next weeks will have mew perched on the edge of your seat again! MOL XOX

  3. OMC how could you do this, another week to go! Any chance of having a go on that drop chute? it sounds just the ticket for the Palace even if it's just to get to the Creamery! purrs ERin

    1. Hey Erin, yes get the Palace Architect in and get a drop chute installed, mew'd neffur look back! But in the meantime mew can try ours fur size! MOL XOX

  4. Oh my mouses, Basil! I'm at the edge of my seat...

    Okay, I WAS at the edge of my seat but then I leaned in, you know, 'cause it was so darned excitin' and then... well... I fell off my seat. MOUSES!


    1. Seville, dude hold on tight as the story only gets more tense, mew know how we roll!! MOL XOX

  5. edge...of...my...hind socks...*wipes beads of sweat from brow*...

    1. *passes Savvy a silk handkerchief* here use that! Wait till next week!! MOL XOX

  6. If anyone can stop that missile, you guys can :)


*Waves Paw* we love comments and do purr extra loud when mew leave one, and we do try to reply to effurypurrdy and visit mew too! ❤️❤️❤️

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