Tuesday, 29 August 2017

THE LAST BIG JOLLY ~ Part VII Of Our Latest Epically Epic Adventure!

Welcome to



In our latest mind-blowing, fur-raising, most epically epic adventure to date when we attempt to travel around the wurld in 42 and a bit days!

What could possibly go wrong?

Pawesome greetings supurr pals

Welcome to Part VII of our latest saga and we know this is the post mew've all been waiting fur since fureffur, so let's get started! 

To catch up on the action, here's the link fur last week:


A quick recap from the last episode:

"Humphrey, where the flip are we?" I asked.

"From all indications we're in limbo in the Nether Void," he replied. "Parsley just confirmed it."

"Nether Void?" I queried.

 "In essence we're stuck between time and space," he explained. "We are in the space equivalent of No-Mans Land."

"And how do we get back to our time space reality?" I pressed.

"We can't, not until the TTTB is fully functioning," Humphrey answered rather soberly. "We need to determine why this happened and who or what caused it." 

I sighed heavily and asked Bob to go get me another drink. "Humphrey," I said quietly. "Get the remaining inventory moved up here, and we'll reconvene, ok?"

"Sure thing Basil, I'll get the Heathens to move it all, I'm too old fur that s***!" Humphrey said dryly. "Offur and out!"

Bob handed me a glass of a pink foamy substance with a small umbrella and a twist of lime stuck on the edge of the glass with one of those really yummy cherries. "Bob, little dude what's this?" I asked.

"It's a Purra Collida, try it, I'm sure mew'll luff it!" Bob grinned at me.

I raised an eyebrow rather surreptitiously and said guardedly. "Bob where did mew get it?"

"From my bag, it's a drink we have at home and I brought a flask with me," he said, eyes bright and shining.

I nodded, sniffed it and then sipped.  The flavour flowed and then burst all offur my tongue, it was incredible; sweet, savoury, juicy, and mouthwatering all at the same time. I gasped. "Bob this is amazing, it tastes like nip-sarsaparilla with a double iced-cream float!"

Bob clapped his little paws together excitedly and laughed. "I knew mew'd luff it!" he squealed in delight.

I took another sip and sank back into my chair suddenly feeling rather chilled and a lot less anxious about free-falling through the Nether Void.

'Great furmilly vay-cay!' I thought, taking another sip of my Purra Collida. "Snowie and Humphrey's Bucket List is all but ruined... the TTTB is a complete liability and the only good news right now is Bob and his magic flask!'

Suddenly, out of the blue the alarm sounded.


Then a few seconds later Astrid came online and began to countdown.


Nearly dropping my glass, I yelled. "What the freakin' flip is going off?"

Snowie was the furst to answer. "Basil, I was just checking long range scanners and it seems that we are not alone in the Nether Void!"

At that moment I heard Fudge, Parsley, Smooch and Humphrey screaming like gurls offur my headset and I decided to join them.


Part VII

Bounty Hunters & The Cube of Averon

**And Action!**

Astrid was still counting down, and we were at T-Minus 50 seconds.

I was screaming like a gurl fur about ten seconds, even Bob had joined in when I suddenly pulled myself together. "Bob hold my drink little buddy!" I said quickly. "Snowie what's the good news?"

"Basil there's a rather large ship heading our way, I'm trying to hail them but as of yet there's no response."

I took a breath. "OK," I replied taking a calming breath. "Keep hailing them... Humphrey get a grip dude and try to offur-ride Astrid from the nearest available terminal... Parsley and Smooch take some weapons and find out who the flip is hiding out on-board and Fudge mew watch Humphrey's back!"

I got an affirmative from them and then turned my attention to Amber and Pandora.

Astrid was still counting down, and we were at T-Minus 40 seconds.

"Amber do whateffur mew need to do to get this contraption running, Pandora see if mew can't by-pass the nav system by rerouting it through the back-up power circuits and rebooting the system!"

Bob tugged my paw urgently and said. "Basil maybe I can help!"

I glanced down at the little fuzzy pink dude and was just about to speak when Snowie said. "Basil it's the Eveeel One and he's sent some hardcore Bounty Hunters aftur us!"

'Oh fur flips sake!' I thought as Astrid was still counting down, and we were at T-Minus 30 seconds.

"Bob!" I said urgently looking around fur the little dude and all of a sudden he appeared next to me with his rucksack, pulling all manner of items out he whooped with delight when his outstretched paw revealed a glass cube. 

He gave me the biggest grin effur. "Basil this is The Cube of Averon, it holds the power of our most sacred force on Catopia, The Knowing!" He ran to Pandora and Amber saying. "Miss Amber and Miss Pandora use this, place it on the console."

I looked on rather bemused as Astrid continued her count-down, and we were at T-Minus 20 seconds.

*    *    *

Meanwhile Smoochie and Parsley were on the lower level of the TTTB.

"Dude?" Smooch said as he re-adjusted his weapons. "Who the flip could be on-board?"

Parsley shrugged and replied. "Well it won't matter if that count-down gets to zero!"

They were just about to continue along the corridor when a bright light lit effurything up.  Parsley held up his paw and they both stopped to listen. Squeak... squeak... squeak... trundle... trundle... trundle...

"Oh now that doesn't bode well dude!" Smooch whispered and reached fur his rocket launcher. "I'm not taking any chances."

"Me either!" Parsley murmured as he drew his Uzi's. "Dude, on three ok?"

Parsley counted down and they rounded the corner at top speed, weapons ready and were met by RMD #1 who was pushing a trolley loaded to the max with some their missing inventory.

*    *    *

One level up Humphrey had found a series of consoles and was underneath one, wires exposed and trying to offur-ride Astrid's A.I. programme.  Fudge was on point keeping a keen look-out as he wurked.

"Humphrey?" Fudge asked quietly. "What happens if the count-down reaches zero?"

"Fudge, at the moment who knows, but if there's a count-down in progress its not good buddy, but I can tell mew this Astrid is going off-line permanently if it's the last thing I do!" Humphrey replied as he used his Phonic-Screwdriver to re-route the wires under the console.  

Fudge adjusted his AA12 and checked his 50 round drum-mag, he was just about to check the vicinity when Snowie's voice sounded through their comms unit. "Dudes, 20 seconds and counting, any good news?"

"Snowie I'm going as fast as I can!" Humphrey replied tersely.

"Oh and we've got some mercenary bounty hunters trying to teleport aboard FYI!" she added.

Fudge drew his AA12 and said. "Have they breached the force-field yet?"

"No, but they will, it's only a matter of time!" Snowie answered. "We've literally got seconds!"

*    *    *

Amber placed the small glass cube on her console, "What now Bob?"

Bob placed his paw on the cube and it burst into life, showering the bridge in a rainbow prism.

"Miss Amber, mew now have control of the helm," he said.

Amber pushed a few buttons. "Basil we have control of the helm!"

Bob then placed the cube on Pandora's console.  "Miss Pandora, mew have control of the nav system!" he grinned.

"Bob, mew are a little genius!" she trilled in her odd little foreign accent.

Astrid was still counting down, and we were at T-Minus 10 seconds.

"Can we purrlease get out of here?" I said urgently as Bob carefully replaced the cube back into his rucksack.

"The mercs are about to breach the force-field Basil!" Snowie said trying to keep her hysteria levels down.

All at once the TTTB roared into life and we vanished from the Nether-Void.

Neffur in my life was I so relieved to hear the familiar sound of teleporting through time and space.

"Pandora, where are we headed to?"

"Rome," she answered.

"Humphrey, it's all in your paws!" I said into my comms unit.  Then I turned to Bob and said. "That was pawesome little dude, how did mew do it?"

Bobs eyes gleamed and he replied, "Magic Basil, magic!"

*    *    *

Smooch was really, really piddled off big time upon finding the purrpatrator and ran straight at RMD #1 full pelt screaming his most insane war-cry and knocked it offur, and then pointing his rocket launcher almost up its tin nose. "Don't make a move droid or mew're just gonna be a pile nuts and bolts!" he spat icily, his paw itching to pull the trigger.

"Yeah droid, mew'll be spare parts!" Parsley sneered. "Now where's the rest of our weapons and ammo?"

*    *    *

Fudge was breathing hard, his eyes were the size of saucers as he watched Humphrey and purrayed fur a miracle.

Humphrey's paws were trembling, his fur was clammy with sweat as he joined the last two wires together while Astrid continued to count down, and we were at T-Minus 1 second.

The furry last thing Astrid said was, "Zero!"  And she went off-line.

Fudge whooped ecstatically and helped Humphrey upright. "Dude that was insane!" he cried with relief. "Like neffur effur have I experienced anything like that before, talk about pressure...."

Humphrey nodded as he quickly packed his tools away and shut the lid on the tool box."  He'd just picked up his Magnum and AK47 when a voice said. "Drop the weapons and don't move!"

*    *    *

I heard Fudge whoop offur the comms unit and he must have furgotten to turn it off, as that's when I heard somepurrdy say. "Drop the weapons and don't move!"

"Oh fur freakin' flips sake!" I spat angrily. 

Snowie turned to me, her expression said it all.  The TTTB hadn't teleported in time and we had mercs on-board.

"I need weapons now!" I yelled. "Where's Parsley and Smooch?"

Snowie hit the comms button. "Parsley, Smooch, where are mew, Humphrey and Fudge are in trouble?"

"We've caught RMD #1 red-pawed with a trolley fully of our inventory!" Parsley answered. "The weapons thief!"

"What?" I shouted. "Those pesky droids stole our stash?"

"Yep and Smooch has got a rocket launcher pointed at it and wants to send it to scrap-heap heaven!" Parsley snarled angrily.  

"Disable it anyway mew want," I growled. "And I need weapons ASAP, meet me on level one."

"Amber mew have the bridge, Snowie track Humphrey and Fudge and do not let anyone teleport off this rig, jam all signals now!" I yelled as I ran off the bridge with Bob hot on my heels.

We were on level one in a jiffy and almost collided with Parsley and Smooch, who were armed to the teeth.  Smooch tossed me two Glocks and several spare clips.  Bob said, "Basil I can help."

I nodded and said. "Parsley give him the H&K, Bob do mew know how to use it?"

The little pink dude took the weapon, his paws running offur it instinctively and he nodded.  "Good now stay behind me as we have to deal with some purretty nasty mercs." 

We ran silently along the corridor towards the last known location of Humphrey and Fudge and found them bound and gagged.

There were three mercs that we could see from our hidden position.  I hit my comms unit and said furry quietly. "Snowie give me stats, we have a visual on three mercs, are there anymore aboard?"

"Scanning now Basil," she answered and then said. "No, only three made it, there were seven but four are still free-floating in the Nether-Void."

I signalled to Parsley and Smooch who moved in stealth.  Parsley went full Purredator mode and seemed to vanish, blending in completely like a chameleon with the decor.  He crept silently around the mercs until he was behind them and then I stepped out in full view.

Staring at the three fat, ugly space-hogs I growled. "Surrender scum!"

Before I could blink they had their weapons aimed directly at me and began to laugh. 

Smooch was at my side with Bob at my back.  I raised an eyebrow and stepped closer. "So are mew surrendering or what?"

"So this is the Great Basil," one snorted derisively.

He was obviously in charge as the other two just giggled like buffoons.

"I am Basil," I said icily stepping closer still.  Smooch had his rocket launcher aimed right at them.

They laughed again and I said, "I don't see what's so funny but I do see three fat little piggies or should I say a trifecta of tubby porkers!"

They stopped laughing, the two underlings grunted angrily and aimed their weapons at Fudge and Humphrey as their leader snarled. "This is going to be the easiest bounty we've ever earned."

"Are mew surrendering or what, as we don't have time fur this nonsense?" I said flatly. "So mew can either do it the easy way or the hard way, take your pick. I suggest option one, the easy way."

The leader was really agitated and began to jab his weapon in my direction. "I'm so going to love shooting mew!"

And right at that moment Parsley went ballistic. It was a sight to behold, the squealing was horrific and 30 seconds later the mercs were on the floor surrounded with more firepower aimed at them than mew could imagine.  Even Bob was on the front row, his H&K resting on the leaders snout and he said in a tone that even made me shiver. "Go ahead punk, make my day!"

"Mew should have opted fur option one," I grinned savagely as they lay bleeding on the floor. "Strip them down, tie them up and throw them in the brig."

I untied Fudge and Humphrey helping them to their paws. "Are mew guys ok?"

They nodded and Fudge who was royally peeved walked up to their leader and clocked him on the snout with the butt of his gun. "That's fur knocking me out fatty!" he spat.

"Nice move Fudge," I said as we dragged the porkers down the corridor.

 A few minutes later they were incarcerated in the brig and put into stasis until we decided what to do with them.  "Righty ho then," I said in a rather chipper voice. "Who wants to see Rome?  Parsley don't furget the camera drone!"

I saw a show of raised paws and laughed. "Guys we're back in control and need to make up some time, so let's get to it."

Posie suddenly materialized and said. "Hiya guys, did I miss anything, I was stuck in the matrix and couldn't get free!"

We all burst out laughing and told her of our ordeal.

A few minutes later we were piling out of the door of the TTTB and breathing in the sweet aroma of Rome.  
"Come on effurypurrdy, get in to position," Parsley yelled as the camera drone hovered above the Trevi Fountain, and so the Bucket List continued in full earnest.

*    *    *

Rome: Trevi Fountain  Date: 2001  Dimension: 25 ~  Daisy Sector
Danger: 0%   Risk of Injury: 0.5%   Risk of Mortality: 0%  Outside Temp: +21  
Air Quality: Pawesome


*    *    *

Istanbul: Galata Tower  Date: 2005 Dimension: 25 ~  Daisy Sector
Danger: 1%   Risk of Injury:15%   Risk of Mortality: 20%  Outside Temp: +22
Air Quality: Beautiful


*    *    *

Khartoum: Camel Races  Date: 2012  Dimension: 33 ~ Zion Sector
Danger: 5%   Risk of Injury: 37%   Risk of Mortality: 50%  Outside Temp: +44  
Air Quality: Sweaty Sweaty


*    *    *

Cairo: Giza Plateau  Date: 2014  Dimension: 28 ~ God Sector
Danger: 0%   Risk of Injury: 0%   Risk of Mortality: 0%  Outside Temp: +45 
Air Quality: Sweaty Sweaty Sweaty


*    *    *

Tunis: Carthage  Date: 2008  Dimension: 41 ~ Rosa Sector
Danger: 0%   Risk of Injury: 0%   Risk of Mortality: 0%  Outside Temp: +32 
Air Quality: Sweaty


*    *    *

Casablanca: Old Medina  Date: 2006  Dimension: 49 ~ Alpha Sector
Danger: 2%   Risk of Injury: 4%   Risk of Mortality: 0%  Outside Temp: +30  
Air Quality:  Moderately Sweaty


*    *    *

Several destinations later and back on the bridge I plonked down in my chair, smooshing my derriere in the squeaky pleather and picked up the bucket list and began to cross off our recent destinations.  I chuckled as I thought of how I finally purrsuaded Bob to join us from the Camel Racing in Khartoum onwards and what a great time we had.

'That was a really great few hours,' I thought happily.

"Basil," Fudge said as he sidled up to me.

"Yeah what's up dude?" I replied smiling.

"How would mew feel if I said, we've got an uninvited hitch-hiker on-board?" Fudge grimaced.


It's that time of the post, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!

Such as:

OMC How could mew leave us hanging like that and we've got a whole week to wait?!

OH MY COD!!!!! OH MY COD!!!!! OH MY COD!!!!!

Like seriously ~ What the flip is going on?

Oh wow Bob really is the dude isn't he?

And what was the cube thingyummy he used?

What is the force - The Knowing? 

Are mew sure that Astrid is off-line  - like purrmenantly?

Those RMD's need dismantling, but who put them up to it?

Will mew find the rest of your stash, or has it gone?

What about those porker spacehogs?

What will mew do with them?

Can the Eveeel One still track mew through them?

OMC that Camel racing looked hilarious, who won?

And now mew have a hitch-hiker aboard, like jeez dudes, does it effur end?

If mew have any questions, or would like to offur input, leave us a comment, as mew know we luffs them so much! MOL

Join us fur Part Eight of our Summer Blockbuster next Tuesday, when we continue on our epically epic adventure.... who knows what will happen.... as now we've got  a  random hitch-hiker on-board!

Until then

Bestest purrs

Basil & The 'B' Team

*    *   *

TTTB Interior images By MaxFX used under license from Shutterstock 
Bunker Background Images used under license from Shutterstock.com
Monster Images by Albert Ziganshin used under license from Shutterstock.com
All Destination Backgrounds used under paid Pizap Licence 


  1. Dude this is some roller coaster of an adventure maybe even a camel ride of an adventure! I sure would have made them piggies squeal for hurting the crew, maybe pull a few nose hairs out of them for extra effect! But what of this hitchhiker? Talk about ominous.... nothing good ever comes in the movies when they get on board!
    How did bob know how to use a H&K I wonder?
    Suspicious purrs

    1. Hi Erin, oh who knows about the hitchhiker just yet, but all will be revealed in due course! Bob is a smart little alien and apparently has studied the history of weapons throughout time and space, so his knowledge of firearms is rather extensive! MOL XOX

  2. Wow! That was a real claw-biting episode, Basil. I loved the part where the Bounty Porkers got their tails kicked. And your postcards are first class. What an adventure! But now you got a hitchhiker. The Adventure continues.... Yay!

    1. Hiya Herms, dude tbh I'm a bit frazzled and need some down-time from this constant 'on' saga! MOL I wish I could teleport back to the secret bunker and chill out on Level 8 in the Bio-sphere with Horice! MOL XOX

  3. guyz....we waz crackin UP at yur fotoz on de camelz !!! N we gotta say ya look grate full lee stocked with ar sen nullz ~~ we iz buzzed glad bob helped out buzzed glad ya can make sum bar bee que pork samichez if ya want; { still hopin bob iz knot a spiez } ...N reel lee hopin de hitch N hikerz knot de bass terd kraken...epic storee two day ..984 paws UP !! ♥♥♥

    1. Tabbies, dudes, OMC the camel race was hilarious fur sure, and yep those porkers need some rare treatment, which we'll think about offur coming episodes! MOL XOX

  4. This gets more exciting every week! I just knew that Astrid and those RMDs were up to no good.Those porkers should be bacon for their evil ways.
    I have to say that Smooch, Parsley and Fudge looked very impressive all tooled up. Oh, and remind me if I ever go to Khartoum not to try camel racing.

    1. Hey Angels Flynn & Eric, oh mew guys were so right about Astrid & the RMD's and yep the porkers could end up as bacon if they don't change their ways! MOL XOX

  5. Yup, you sure as kittens did leave me hanging again...sheesh.
    There is something strange about this Bob character I just feel it...

    Camel racing??? Oh my catness indeed!!! MOL!b Don't get spat on...eeuuwwwwww!

    1. Hi Pipo & Mr Jack, oh mew're getting bad vibes about Bob... only time will tell if he's truly on the level! MOL XOX

  6. Maybe you can all make a quick stop in Hawaii and have a pig ur hog roast! Tee hee hee! You kitties look great with the Pyramids!! I wish are were there with you!

  7. Whoa. Your adventures are amazing, mew guys! Just when we think things are going to calm down ... bad piggies! ... stops in all those epic places ... and a hitchhiker ... Me-WOW!

    1. Hiya Zoe & Gracie, yep just when mew think things can't possibly escalate - THEY DO! MOL XOX

  8. You cats are so amazing! To be caught with the field down and then showing those porkers that they should have chosen the easy way! Me-Wow!
    Is there going to be bacon?
    Timmy and Family


*Waves Paw* we love comments and do purr extra loud when mew leave one, and we do try to reply to effurypurrdy and visit mew too! ❤️❤️❤️

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